you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
