You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
