You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
