I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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