god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
