**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
