Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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