this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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