so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
