I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
