just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
