I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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