my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
