i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
