Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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