I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
