I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
True strength comes from lack of pants
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