The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
