i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
please come you make the beer taste better
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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