i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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