I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
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I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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