I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
