He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
