fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
