Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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