I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
