Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
