She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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