someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
