Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
