I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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