Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize