if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
