I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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