I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
