You're my little dorito
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
