marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My feet surprised me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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