What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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