If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
