I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize