Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
