Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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