Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
