Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
