You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
