He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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