We're like a lot better than the average bears
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
