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woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I didn't notice because vodka
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
