What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
