census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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