Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
