Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is the high leading the old right now
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
