I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
