So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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