So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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