Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
