She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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