I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
