I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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