you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
