Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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