the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
