I will die if light touches me.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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