Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
