the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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