thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
