Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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