It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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