pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
