Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
