this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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