I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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