if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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