We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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