How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pants are for mortals
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
