it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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