Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
